Noisy Marriages
- Joshua Kellar
- Feb 6, 2018
- 2 min read
Every car owner has been there before. You hear a noise. You ignore it, hoping it will go away. You wait to see if your spouse will say something about the noise - wondering if it is just your imagination. The noise gets louder. You still hope it goes away.
Eventually it's out in the open between you and your spouse that the noise exists but neither of you know what is causing it and more importantly neither of you knows how to fix it. The noise gets even louder.
Finally, the noise seems to be migrating into other parts of the car and expanding to the point that just getting from here to there has become a risky journey. You begin to wonder if the cost of fixing it at this point is going to be worth it...
Have you ever had any "noise" in your relationship with your partner? Noise can be anything that doesn't seem quite between you.
Maybe a shifty look after you've said something.
A tone that is a little more biting than usual.
A longer-than-normal period of time without sexual intimacy.
Chances are that you have experienced something that wasn't the way it was supposed to be and that you may have chosen to "hope for the best" and just let your patterns continue. Sadly, these patterns (or noises) only get worse over time ... if they're not addressed.
Just like with a car, marriages require regular maintenance in order to continue functioning at their optimum capacity. They require attention, care, cleaning and even sometimes an overhaul.
Healthy couples find ways of incorporating regular maintenance into their marriage relationship. They will continue dating long after the relationship. They will go out of their way to ensure that the positive compliments far outweigh the difficult criticisms. They will recognize the general goodwill inside one another and see that as behind every motivation of the other's actions.
Sometimes, though a couple will reach a point where things may not be really bad between them but they have exhausted their knowledge base of how to continue functioning in healthy ways. The "noise" has become such that they need to seek outside counsel.
This can be a great time to do some intentional, preventative maintenance on a marriage.
The "Marriage Tune-Up" is a one-on-one counseling package between me and you as a couple. It includes four counseling sessions and a free professional assessment of the particular issues in your marriage that may be causing the most "noise." Couples participating in the Marriage Tune-Up can expect to experience growth in their communication about the more challenging issues but also discover the ways that they can best care for their partner the way it's needed most!
What areas of your marriage are making the most "noise" right now?
~Joshua Kellar
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